Thinking About My Personality

I think a lot about my personality. I’ve taken the Meyers Briggs test and the Enneagram test. But I actually don’t get consistent results when I take either test. For meyers-briggs, I’ve gotten ISFJ, ESFJ, ENFP. For Enneagram I’ve gotten 7, 1, 3, 6, and 9. I’ve actually read The Road Back To You, and I still can’t figure out my type. 

For some reason that really bothers me. Maybe because I really am a 1 and have to know what’s right. I haven’t studied this a lot, I’m not a psychologist, I’m just giving you my personal experience. 

Now, beyond the personality tests, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about who I am, and this usually comes when I’m feeling bad about myself. But this is the truth. This is the real Christi. I’m obnoxious,I think more highly of myself than I ought. I get intimidated by people I think are cool, because I feel like I don’t measure up. I talk more than I listen. I’m bossy and controlling

I could look on the positive side and comfort myself with empty platitudes and tellmyself things like “you are enough.” I could tell myself I am worth it.  But you know what? I’m not enough. I am not worth it. That’s the whole point of the gospel. That I wasn’t worth it, but Jesus chose me anyway. 

I could tell myself that my bossyness is so that I can be a good leader. I could say that my over-confidence is so I can get stuff done. But I’d still be in that box. What if I don’t want to be in that box? Am I stuck with this personality? 

A True Roadmap to the Soul

But I wonder why I spend so much time trying to figure out my personality type instead of actually trying to follow God and do what’s right. 

The Bible gives us a true map to the soul… 

• None is righteous, no not one. (Psalm 14 and Romans 3)
• The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)
• Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks (Matt 12:34)
• For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”  (Mark 7:21-23)

If that’s the state of my heart, it’s pretty bad. But am I stuck there? The answer is a resounding NO. The enneagram book might say that I have the same personality my whole life. But God says I am a new creation. 

God also says that I am free from the sinful parts of my personality and I am free to walk in grace

• I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Gal 2:20)
• It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

How to Break Free from My Personality

I am NOT a slave to my personality or my box that I think I’m in. So how can I break free? The Scriptures give me the antidote, but it’s up to me to put in the work it takes to apply it. God tells me how am supposed to live. He tells me how I can break free from the parts of my personality that I feel enslaved by.

Let’s do a little exercise. I will write parts of my personality and see what the Scripture says about it.

• Talk to much? When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent (Prov 10:19)
• A bad listener? Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19)
• Obnoxious? My beauty should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. (1 Peter 3:4)
• Rush into decisions? The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. (Prov 14:15-16)
• Intimidated by people that I think are better than me? And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men (Col 3:23) & As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace. (1 Pet 4:10)
• Selfish? Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 
• Bossy and Controlling? Don’t think of yourself more highly than you ought to think… Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves.  (Phil 2) And “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” Romans 12:16
• Greedy? Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have (Heb 13:5)
• Lazy? Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer  and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man. (Proverbs 6)

I CAN be free. 

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness…For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Pet 1:3, 5-8)

The key is walking in the spirit. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh (Gal 5:16)

How Do I Spend My Time, Really?

You know, I spend so much time listening to other people tell me  to pick myself up, dust myself off, that I am worth it… they tell me these things to make me feel better about myself. When I’m feeling down, I complain to a friend sometimes just so she can tell me I am not as bad as I think. But I don’t actually fill our minds with Scripture. With the truth that will set me free. 

Let’s take it back to the Enneagram. I think my closest type is probably a type 1. Basic fear is of being corrupt or evil. The gospel gives me hope. My basic desire is to be good, to have integrity, to be balanced. What I need to know is that Jesus is good. Jesus is my righteousness. It’s not me. 

That’s the problem with wrapping your identity in your personality or your interests or your job or whatever. It’s not sustainable. Instead, my identity needs to be found in Christ. Only then can I be free from the slavery of my personality.

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